I cut with a blade,
You took it away,
You didn't know what you were getting into
I picked up a bottle,
Smashed it on the ground,
Carved with the shards of that instead.
When you found out,
You removed all the glass,
Gave me plastic instead.
So I tore at my skin,
With my fingernails,
Still drew blood,
Only harder now.
You didn't like this,
So you cut my nails right back.
I threw myself against the walls,
Punched them as hard as i could,
Breaking my fists and destroying the room.
You lined them with matressess,
To make them soft and useless.
So I tore out my hair,
Great chunks at a time.
You bought a straitjacket,
Made me
Cut on my leg, blood on my wrist.
Towel beneath me, scissors in my fist.
I hold my breath and gasp in pain.
Blood falls, in a crimson rain.
Strawberry gashes all over my wrist.
Its out of love, that I do this.
Hide my pain, under a scarf.
And tomorrow Ill pretend to smile and laugh.
I scratch,
White marks appear.
As they turn red,
Out pours all my anger.
I smash,
My head against walls.
Pain soars through my body,
Releasing all my mental pain.
I burn,
Red marks on my skin.
They bring freedom,
Setting me free from the fires of hell.
Hurting no one but myself.
Finding mental freedom from physical pain.
Red, white, purple, blue.
Anger, rejection, upset, pain.
People say it's wrong,
They look down their noses.
Only making things worse,
Friends leave, strangers frown.
So,
I can't cope with my mental pain,
But i've never inflicted pain on YOU.